For once not a depressing post.

Practice was today! Honestly today I was kind of sad and thinking about how much of a failure I was going to look like again. Also, I have been fighting a cold since yesterday so me being unable to breathe properly wasn't helping the situation.

My friend, another skater, and me (I have been obsessing over this sentence a lot sorry if it's badly written but my brain is kind of tired and I always had problem with I and me use) were pulled aside to get some one on one attention with some of the league sisters. A part of me felt bad, but then I told myself you know this is what I need. I need help, and they are willing to offer it to me. I have a hard time accepting some times that they are nice people that want to help and don't have any other interest other than wanting to help.

The one on one attention is awesome,  and they were able to point out the things I was doing wrong which helped a lot in improving myself. I was able to properly do a superman fall because I realized that my belly was supposed to touch the floor completely. Some stuff is still messy but I think I overall did better mainly because I came to accept something that my friend Heather has pointed out to me.

Today was around my 5th time on these type of skates, and it was my 3rd time on my own pair. It's a miracle that I can even stand on it let alone do some of the stuff I am doing. Mind you, this by no means I am allowing myself to slack off. I want to be able to catch up to the other recruitment girls as hard as that seems and as unlikely as it is. However, I need to see how much better am doing than when I put on the rental skates that first night of training. This is extremely hard to do specially with how amazing some of the skaters are, but hey they probably have been on skates more than 5 times and if they haven't then... they probably don't trip on their own feet while going down the stairs.

One of the things I was most proud of today was the fact that I was able to do crossovers. Let me point out how I felt the first time I tried to do crossovers. When I tried to put my foot in front of the other my whole body seemed to scream out at me saying "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? YOUR FEET ARE HUGE AND YOU HAVE THEM ON SKATES WE ARE GOING TO DIE!". I know this sounds like I'm exaggerating but honestly my body tends to talk to me a lot when I'm trying something new ... it tends to scream and shout when I'm trying to do something new while I'm on skates. 

The Psycho Sisters were able to show me step by step how to do crossovers and I wasn't sure how to do them and I can't pinpoint the moment when I actually started to just do them as I was getting to turns but when I realized how fast I was going I started laughing, when I realized I was actually doing crossovers I started yelling and feeling so incredibly happy and proud of myself that I didn't know how to deal with it.

I know it sounds strange since I haven't mentioned almost dying yet and I assure I did almost die or felt like I was going to at some points. There was this one moment where something happened (which was probably me not bending my knees) and I fell completely on my side in such a way that my thigh collided with my groin area and I had swore I had broken the anatomical part of my body that makes me a female. However, I stood up and didn't freak out and just kept going and hell yeah I tried crossovers at my next turn.

Also, you know what? I have no idea what the hell I was doing before hand to do turns? I have no fuckin clue what I was doing but it was horrible. Turns are so much better with crossovers! Beforehand I swear my freaking foot that was on the outside felt like that cart at walmart that you accidentally pick that has the bad wheel! Odd thing is though, I can't think about doing crossovers too much while I'm doing it or that I'm going faster... because I freak out and mess up.

Finally after our special class we were able to join the rest of recruitment. They started playing music and we were able to dance a bit. We tried doing the electric slide but I have no idea how to do that. Mainly, because I'm Puerto Rican and had no idea what the electric slide even was before I moved here. We also did that stupid cupid shuffle...that I still have no idea how to do because I'm special but I tried!  They also played the chacha slide which was awesome except... you can't really do the Charlie Brown on skates. I am not even entirely sure I know what Charlie Brown is.

After that we also did a game of green light, red light. I had been telling Heather before how great that would be to practice stops! And it was! I was only sent back once! This all reminded me that I have to push myself hard, and that I need to focus on things but most importantly this is also supposed to be fun. I mean, I really want to make it and be one of those cool derby girls but the whole process is also supposed to be fun and amazing especially since I had never put one these type of skates before and because my rollerblading days before hand were a joke since I usually just flailed my arms like an idiot and ate pavement. 


... I just realized I didn't post any pictures today well... I referenced tripping over my own feet and falling on the stairs in my apartment. Here's a picture to commemorate that:

This isn't even as bad as it originally was...

My skates hate me

Good news first! I got some extra money I wasn't expecting and was able to purchase some new skates. Skating is so much easier now and I don't get as frustrated, however I believe that my skates hate me. I feel that they are so confident in themselves that they scoff at the idea of a newb like me wearing them. They probably laugh about me behind my back and roll their eyes when I'm wearing them. Yes, my skates definetly hate me.

Yes, you know that we're in for a thrilling post when that's the first thing I start off with. I missed Thursday practice because  of a previous engagement. The previous engagement was a date with my boyfriend to see Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2. It was a job related thing so yeah I would have felt horrible if I had told him that no I was going to go practice.

Today's practice was the first outdoor practice I was able to do stuff in. My friend and I always get to the practice early and we were talking with some of the other recruits. Meanwhile a lone guy was practicing lacrosse. I wasn't paying a lot of attention to it until all of the sudden  I feel the impact of the ball on my leg. Honestly I didn't even realize the ball was coming towards me until I felt it.

 It doesn't look like much, but believe me if hurt like a bitch. I was seating there and realized that it was going to suck if this was the only bruise I got today.

 I have to point out that it was my first time trying outdoor wheels. I had skated the night before with my new skates and done fine but with these outdoor wheels it felt like I was slipping every four seconds. I excused myself to change my wheels and came back and felt more comfortable after this.

More comfortable wasn't good enough. There's a LOT of skaters better than me. I'm at the bottom of the scale right now and I try pushing myself, and pushing but I know it's not going to be good enough. By missing the last session I missed on jumping, I missed on weaving in and out... and I am just horrible at skating. I was able to do some jumps... but not when the coach was watching. When the coach watched me I freaked out and fell. I also managed during a jump to smack myself in the nose with my own hand causing myself to bleed a little bit.

Except it's a she but you know...(http://fuckyeahrollerderbyotter.tumblr.com)

We were doing paces when I just broke down. I started crying as I tried to catch up with the others. I fake that I am confident very well but in reality due to personal events that I have been through I am not. I just fell all my insecurities float up... but I kept skating. I kept doing it. Even if I was far behind and even if during pyramids tears were flowing down my eyes as my mind tried to set up traps telling me that I can't do it. I was probably very slow...and I'm probably not going to make it into the league after this one recruitment.

When we started there were 35 of us now there's 15. Most of the girls have had skating experience (some of them have done derby before, are figure skaters, etc) so I am aware that I am at the bottom of the pile. However, I am not giving up. I will continue skating through tears in my eyes, and when it feels like my body is falling apart I will keep on going.

No one said it was going to be easy, I can't do crossovers, I can't lift my leg up and glide, my body seems to be terrified of the superman falls but it doesn't mean that I will never be able to do them. When I finally make it through I am going to be so proud of myself. Right now? At least I can derby stance like a motherfucker.


Also yes, that was my only bruise for the day. I am sure am a winner aren't I?

Dehydration sucks just as much as not having skates.

On Thursday night/ Friday morning I woke up with a horrible headache. I tossed and turned and I kept getting hot and cold. A part of me thought I was going to die as I stumbled towards the bathroom and managed to lean over the toilet and threw up the contents of my dinner.


It was only when my friend walked up to me with a cup of olive juice that I realized that I was dehydrated. I made sure to drink water during and after practice. I was feeling fine during practice, not dehydrated at all or even thirsty. When I got home I felt a bit strange and saw odd colors as I blinked but I thought I was just exhausted.

After that night of throwing up and being sent home from work due to not being able to keep anything down I have a new sentence to live by: Drink water. Honestly, if I drink too much it will never be enough. I never want to be that sick ever again.

Sunday was outdoor practice and I felt useless... I don't have skates yet so I wasn't doing much. I just got to watch people getting better while I just stood in the sidelines. It really sucked because I can't make it to this Thursday's practice due to a previous engagement so unless I get skates before Sunday's practice I will be pretty much missing two practices.

I know, I know, is too early for me to be missing practices all ready but...thing is I managed to be invited to an early showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 so yeah...that definitely takes priority even though I'll be thinking about what is going on at practice I still plan to enjoy myself.

Conclusion: Drink water!

Recruitment and Training Day 1

I would like to start this by saying that I have no idea how this thought of me being graceful on roller skates came to me. Oh, wait I know perfectly well what happened.

There I was one day with nothing to do on a weekend when my friend Heather asks me to go see derby with her. Now in my head I just thought of hot girls on roller skates beating each other up. Then I thought of how cool fishnets and booty shorts were and I decided that hell yeah I was going to see roller derby.

During the match, seeing those girls be so graceful and just bad ass moved me and a couple of months later my friend told me about recruitment and how she was  thinking of going. It became clear that she was going when she bought the skates so I shrugged my shoulders and decided why not.

Did I stated all ready that I have the grace of a rhino? I flail my arms around and it takes a lot of concentration for me to coordinate what my arms and legs are doing together. Also I fall on a regular basis. One day I tripped on my own feet and fell down the stairs in my apartment, I am also ridiculously tall and sometimes get off balance when I'm regularly walking. So you should realize that there is absolutely no real reason why I should be doing this to myself. Oh I also hate sports, get easilly tired and I'm incredibly lazy. Yeah, this seems like a great idea.

Well recruitment came and went. Everyone was extremely nice to me and my friend. just getting to know these wonderful and amazing girls made me want to do it even more. Also... I fell a bunch of times and got a bruise on my knee. I'm not joking, seriously...look:

Yes, I got a bruise after only 20 minutes of skating. Told you I was as graceful as a rhino. After recruitment I also decided to go and try things out at an adult skate at a local ring. never again I got run over EVEN on the beginners ring. Well, might as well get used to that.

It is noteworthy to say that there was a drawing of a rhino on the wall. The rhino was more graceful than I was.

Today I felt sick to my stomach while thinking about doing training. I don't even own my own pair of skates! I have to use the rental ones, and most of my gear is hand me downs. Oh yeah, this is how I'm rocking it! We learned how to fall. You would think that after falling so many times I would know how to do it. Well... I don't. I seem to have the consistency of a water balloon so while the other derby girls seemed to glide on their kneepads I just fell down and...exploded. We also did the slider falls which I kind of got the hang of.

The strange part is though even though all of this I want to go and do it again. Well I all ready spent the same amount I make on a whole day of work and am aware I will spend a lot more on it so I'm probably going to stick around for this. But I will probably kill myself in the floor or get run over.