Why are we doing this again? Because we're awesome!

Something that I learned in my past recruitment is that falling is so easy, but getting up is harder. It is easy to just give up and say fuck it I'm done I am not meant to this but it is so much harder to suck it up and push yourself harder.

It is even harder if you did it once, failed, and now you are just standing there awkwardly with all the new girls that haven't done this before and the old veterans that are like: "Oh you're back!". I have stated in the past that I'm obnoxiously paranoid. I don't think about someone helping me as them being nice I just always feel like they are obligated to. Imagine my surprise when I felt that the girls were sincerely happy to see me. Even more so with the girls I went through recruitment last time. Even one of them that I admire due to her skating skills came up and talk to me to say how excited and nervous she was for me and my roomie.

Mind you I was nervous as hell when we started skating. I seem to not be able to do crossover any more (WTF feet? I thought we had this. It seems like we keep getting it and you chicken out... I am disappointed in you.) and I wasn't as fast as I feel I should be but at least I didn't fall and managed to drag some of the other girls with me.

It seems that some stuff stuck with me, even though I need new pads. I could feel the vibrations hit my knees. I also need to work on stoping and just being more comfortable with myself. I think that all of my insecurities just tend to flourish when I'm under stress and that was the reason for what happened last time. Plus not to mention a whole lot of personal stuff going on but... yeah.

It's easy to give up and say I am not doing derby. However, I am choosing to get up within 3 seconds and skate to try and knock someone out.

I get the weirdest marks from my gear. This one is from my helmet. Can it count as a derby bruise?